Gossip

Michelle Manos

COM101 (MWF 11:00 a.m.)

Eleanor Dombrowski

Communication Report

According to the Encarta World English Dictionary, gossip can be defined as one of the following: "Conversation about personal or intimate rumors or facts, especially when malicious; informal and chatty conversation or writing about recent and often personal events; or somebody given to spreading personal or intimate information about other people." (Encarta ® World English Dictionary, 1998-2004) Given the following definitions, we can agree that every persons has partaken in the act of gossip and continue to on a regular basis. Gossip can occur in almost any situation. In this paper I will be addressing this issue among young girls in school along with gossip in the workplace.

School can be very difficult on young adolescent girls. There is a constant struggle with teasing, gossiping and maintenance and/or destruction of reputations. Rosalind Wiseman addressed these three issues in her book titled "Queen Bees and Wannabees". For the sake of this paper, I will be taking a closer look at the chapter focused on gossip. Wiseman begins by giving the synopsis of an argument between two young adolescent girls:

"Angie and Monica are on the same soccer team. A week ago, Angie began dating Monica's old boyfriend. Monica was talking to three other girls when Angie walked onto the practice field, but the group fell silent as Angie approached. The next day during school, Angie walked by Monica and two other girls and she overheard them saying she was fat, ugly, and a slut. This went on for a week and by then Angie was desperate for it to end. The next time it happened, Angie confronted Monica in front of the other girls. . ." (Wisemen, 2002, p.11)

The behavior of the girls is normal. "99.9 percent of girls gossip, including your daughter." (Wisemen, 2002, p.11) But, what Wisemen is concerned about is parents having a difficult time imagining their daughter being unkind or downright nasty to another girl and "the longer and more adamantly you deny this fact, the worse of a gossip she will be." (Wisemen, 2002, p.11)

The remainder of the chapter on gossip is dedicated to demonstrating the different ways of handling gossip, giving strategies to know which battles to fight for her and which to fight on her own, and challenges to take action when your daughter is the one who is in fact gossiping. "Most girls who are gossiped about, gossip themselves. It's more than probably that your daughter has been cruel to someone else. It's up to you to teach her differently." (Wisemen, 2002, p.11)

There is no arguing the fact that I too have experienced many of the same instances growing up. Instances of betrayal, vindictiveness , cruelty, backstabbing all of which leave you with the feeling of hurt, shame, remorse, and guilt. A feeling that all girls can relate to growing up as a young adolescent. With my mothers guidance and support I had a better understanding of the long term effects such behavior can have on an individual which in turn gave me clearer idea of what is the more acceptable behavior verses the malicious and cruel.

But does the gossip end there? Does it only pertain to young adolescent girls attending school? The answer is no. Gossip does not end there. Gossip pertains to every individual whether it be a male or female. The workplace is a great illustration of this. "Lies, rumors and office gossip have always been an entrenched part of the workscape. . . But in today's increasingly angry and malicious society. . . The nature and intensity of gossip have hit new lows." (Greengard, 2001, p3) According to Jane Weizman, a senior consulatant at Watson Wyatt Worldwide, "there is no way to measure how common or destructive office gossip is, however, it's clear that it can wreak havoc in an organization. . . [which] can not only cause deep personal pain but also lead to turnover, conflict, and lawsuits." (Greengard, 2001, p3)

Gossip usually takes two forms: the first being relationship-oriented and the other being office politics according to Human Relations generalist and compensation specialist Rebecca Gushue. This occurs most often in the organizations that "foster a chummy, cliquey environment --particularly where employees feel like outsiders-- such as unionized workplace where management and labor are often at odds." (Greengard, 2001, p4-5) If this behavior is left unchecked it can cause serious problems among the organization.

The following are five guiding principles to help "combat office gossip" (Greengard, 2001, p7):

Keep employees informed

Help build a culture that's supportive rather than overly competitive

Let workers know that malicious personal gossip is not acceptable

Deal with rumors immediately

Confront chronic offenders

Gossip, being ingrained in our nature, cannot be prevented. The key is to have the ability to find the appropriate balance. The ability to reduce the problems associated with office gossip.

Currently, I am employed at Cafй Europa, located in Willoughby. It is a small, quaint coffee shop where you find yourself in cahoots with the customers and staff. It seems we all know one another far too well

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