Family Guy Draft

Family Guy

By Christian Zapata

The bizzaro GRIFFIN

Theme song

Cut into the living room the whole family is watching JeopardyÐ'...

Man: What is testicular cancer?

Alex trebec: Actually it was what is chronic diarrheaÐ'... chronic diarrheaÐ'....

Cut back to living room

Brian: there's nothing to watch we should just go to the movies.

Peter: it takes way too long remember what happened last time we wentÐ'...

(cut to a video)

A simple beat starts up and then Brian starts rapping

Brian:

"Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon,

Call up Peter just to see how he's doin'."

Peter: Hello?

Brian: What up Parnz?

Peter: Yo Samberg, what's crackin'?

Brian: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Both: NARNIA! Then it's happ'nin

Peter: 68th and Broadway!

Brian: Step on it, sucka!

Peter: What you want to

do, Brian?

Brian: Snack attack, muthaf-----!

(cut back to living room)

Peter: Fine I guess we can watch a movie

Stewie: A movie I wonder what movies there givingÐ'...

Cut to a movie trailer

DEEP NARRATOR VOICE: For years you have heard the voice( welcome to moviefone) now see the man behind the voice in MOVIE FONE the MOVIE rated r for brief nudity and strong sexual contentÐ'...

Cut back to living room

Peter: Imma call quagmire to see if he can come

Lois: No remember what happened last time

Cut to the Movie TheaterÐ'....

Quagmire: gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity gigity

Man: Hey can u keep it down im trying to watch the movie

Quagmire: Oh damn it this movie blows anywaysÐ'...(Apparently he was watching chronicles of narnia)

(cut back to living room)

Peter: fine fineÐ'...

Meg: So let me just get my jacket and we can go

Chris: she's goingÐ'... ah I don't want to

I don't want to

Brian: wait Megs going

Peter: Who let u back in the house?

Meg: wait so I cannot

go

Peter: HOW DARE U GET OUT

She leaves crying

Brian: why do we hate this girl so much?

Flashback to WHEN THE FAMILY WAS ON DEAL OR NO DEAL MEGS ON THE CLOCK

Guy: so Meg deal or no deal

Family: DEAL DEAL DEAL DEAL DEAL!!!

Meg: NO DEAL

Guy: Well since no one really understands how to play this game imma just say U LOSE

Peter: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(In darth Vader voice)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Cut back to them in the car)

Brian: poor girl man girl Is more out of place in this family than Aquaman in the justice league

Cut to justice league

Batman: so what were trying to tell u is that

League: your fired

Aquaman: Fired no way I mean really why

Batman: We feel like you don't really have any powers

Aquaman: Are u serious I can talk to fish

Batman: yea well its not like if the world is blowing up they're going to go to the guy who can talk to "fish"

Superman: besides we found these in your drawerÐ'...(he pops open a capsule filled with tablets)

Aquaman: I can explainÐ'....

Cut back to carÐ'...

In all of their laughing peter runs over a guy who looks just like peterÐ'...

They all get out of the carÐ'...

Lois: OMG are u all right

Man: yea im ok just u know dying here on the floor got hit with your car but I mean besides this there's really nothing I mean yea im goodÐ'...WHAT DO U THINK

Lois: peter call an ambulance

Peter: yea what's the number to 911

Stewie: its 9-1- wait wait hold on are u seriousÐ'... nonono no way is someone on this planet so stupid no way man no way I mean honestly you're my father wait what o sweet Jesus are you serious I mean is there anyway we can get rid of the cornucopia of fat I mean your presence angers me that's it from now on I will dedicate my life to kill the fat manÐ'...

Peter still waits anxiously for the last digit

Brian: 1Ð'... MY god

Cut to the hospital

Man: my name is bondÐ'...june bondÐ'...

Peter: Im sorry its bothering me u look