Theism or Lack There Of?

awhile back i was faced with a question that i've never really been confronted with. if the subject came up, usually i'd just dance around the subject or would say what was expected to hear.until now...

so what are my beliefs or faith...or whatever else u wanna call it? i never really thought about it indepth until i was asked this question by a sibling few months back. i couldn't answer definitively, i figured i'd eventually figure it out over time and experience...but then maybe it was time to at least try and figure out what my beliefs are.

i use to joke around when ppl would ask me what religion i am and say an atheist with a B plan. hypocritcal? maybe...or is it? sure my family is catholic, but that's the problem. my family is, and i was born into that religion. i didn't choose to be catholic, so therefore i chose not to categorize myself as being catholic. a lot of things that's happend in my life, and the things i've come to see happen in this world have lead me to believe there is no so called 'god.' at the sametime unexplainable acts happen that make u wonder and second guess that, and then lead u to believe in his/her/their existence.

not just looking at my own experience, but just looking at the things that happen in the world around us i ask myself as i'm sure many others have, how can innocent children suffer if there is a god? how can natural disasters that tear apart countries occur, and other disasters that aren't natural happen? if 'god' is omnipotent and omnibenevolent he wouldn't let the things that are so wrong and evil to unravel in this world. sure u get the "some good comes from every bad thing"....yea..enlighten me please. more often than not the good doesn't nerealy outweigh the bad in these situations.

and how can ppl be so evil? killing each other cuz of difference in beliefs? i mean yea we were given free will, thus having free will allows us to to do anything including things that are evil. but then why do most religions feel that god intervenes in situations? isn't that hypocrtical to say the least?

what about scientific discoveries that contradict what religion says about things? like the big bang, and evolution. both are now right there on the level of FACT. so what has religion done? well catholism has gone back to rewrite things so to speak. yea science has proven these things, but that's because 'god' meant it to happen that way? so everytime something else is discovered, we're

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