Parenting Styles- an Asian Insight

In 1978, Dr. Diana Baumrind was the first to define the four parenting styles. Since then, there have been more styles that utilize different category designs. For Baumrind, her categories were responsiveness and demandingness.

Responsiveness is defined as warmth: a parent's response to the needs of a child in an accepting and supporting way. Responsiveness can also be used interchangeable with love. Parents use love as a tool to teach right from wrong, increase a child's self-esteem, and encourage individualism. In order to portray love, these parents use a combination of communication, negotiation, and reason.

Demandingness, or limits, refers to a parent's expectation of mature, responsible behavior. Parents use limits and expectations to teach respect and provide a sound structure for their child. Consequently, the use of control and harsh discipline is used.

The differences between the four styles is easily seen and defined in the following chart:

Baumrind's Four Parenting Styles

Demandingness

Responsiveness Low High

Low Uninvolved Authoritarian

High Permissive Authoritative

Authoritative or democratic parents are considered flexible, using negotiation and communication with control and discipline to allow for give-and-take situations. They are less likely to use physical punishment. These parents encourage a child's uniqueness and gives love and respect. They offer their support in everything the child does, even when the result is failure. Rather they encourage a healthy rebound.

Authoritarian parents are seen as highly directive individuals who value obedience to maintain order. They tend to monopolize a child and hold them to, sometimes, unreasonable goals. These parents constantly supervise, give reminders, and instruct their child in every aspect of everyday life. In some extremes and due to external sources, authoritarian parents give excessive amounts of duties and chores upon a child, which would cause a child to miss out on the "carefree" aspect of childhood. These parents also discourage discussion between them and their children

Permissive or indulgent parents would rather avoid problematic behavior and allow a child a great deal of freedom. They will prefer to submit to a child who throws a temper tantrum and demands to avoid a big confrontation and become unable to say 'no'.

Uninvolved parents show no interest in the life of the child and may actively reject or neglect the child. This may be due to a preoccupation with work, poverty, wealth, alcoholism, divorce, or illness.

Children can be influenced by different parenting styles. The following chart summaries the effects that coincide with the different parenting styles.

Parenting Style Resulting Effects on Children

Authoritative Child learns to cope easily, not afraid to try and fail.

Resilient

Individuated

Mature

Self-regulated and responsible

Achievement oriented

Highest scores on standardized testing

Sees the world as friendly and safe

Communicates better

Authoritarian Have a multitude of problems

Less individuated and very submissive (docile behavior)

Show lower degree of social skills, ego development

Perform poorly on standardized testing

See parents as restrictive

Tends to be actively rebellious and overtly defiant

Shows passive resistance: dawdling, daydreaming, forgetting

Permissive Less assertive and initiative

Smart, but less achievement oriented

Show less self-regulation and social responsibility

Likely to use drugs

Loses spontaneity

Indifferent

Sees adults as the providers of pleasure and comfort

Uninvolved Antisocial, Immature, Lack self-regulation

Lack the ability to form close relationships

Have the most internalizing and externalizing problems

Low scores on achievement tests

Reject parents in the position of role models

Most likely to use drugs and alcohol

Feels like he/she is alone in the world

Children will become adults someday. The following chart attempts to predict the children of the various parenting styles and their outlooks on different aspects on adulthood.

Parental style Adult attitude

Attitude towards life Attitude towards others Attitude towards work Attitude towards sex and marriage

Authoritative Feels connected, part of life. Positive attitude. Willing to improve life. Willing to help, share with, contribute to, and cooperate with others. Work useful to others. Does his best to offer value. Can lead or cooperate on a team. Sex

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