Myself

i'm japanese/american though rumor has it, the postman was korean. i'm an import model for shibaura, hinomoto and mitsubishi-satoh farm tractors. i was fired on 'the apprentice' and i wasn't even a contestant. i've been there, that's why i'm here. my cup is half-empty on some days and half-full on others. i only have one oar in the water. i ride and spur the pale pony of the apocalypse. death doesn't follow me but neurosis does. i'm a jack-of-all-trades but a master of none. my conscious is clear but then again, i have a poor memory. i borrow money from pessimists because they don't expect me to pay it back. i potentially had a psychic girlfriend but she left before we met. i invented the cordless extension cord. i try to daydream but my mind keeps wandering. i plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. i believe that the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. i consistently fail at everything i do yet it always feels like success. i make friends and talk to the shadows on my wall. i scream whiprash!! whiprash!! any time the city bus stops short. i'm politically conservative but liberal about personal choices. i'm not always right nor am i always wrong. i'm a part-time saint and a part-time sinner. i laugh a whole lot more than i frown. i would rather be alone than lonely. i sometimes wonder what condition, my condition is in. i'm not tough nor do i pretend to be, though i can fight my way out of a wet paper bag. i pay attention to the nikkei index and the nyse. i prefer my cake and my brownie a la mode. i can consume a bag of cheetos with the voracity of a cheetah ripping through a gazelle. i'm really not crazy, i'm just a little unwell. i tap anglo-saxons on the shoulder at movies and ask 'what are they saying?' i enjoy performing mental gymnastics on those who think i lack substance. regardless of how fast i peddle my legs i'm always a half-step behind. i'm ten minutes early for any appointment. i'm not afraid to die, i just don't want to be there when it happens. i'm just a love machine, a hug and kissing fiend and i won't work for nobody but you......if you don't write an introductory note first, then i won't add you. if you aren't intelligent enough to say something more than 'thanks for the add', 'hello rovery' or '

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