Interpersonal Communication

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dallas

COM200: Interpersonal Communication

Instructor: Anne Schneeberger

Amy Dallas

August 27, 2012

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Dallas,

First off, let me welcome you to a brand new world of love, care, family bonds and holy matrimony. My name is Amy Henderson, and I am going to give you an idea of how interpersonal communication is going to affect your lives and the skills/knowledge you will need in order to find yourselves together and still happy 50 years down the road. Marriage today seems, to some, to be a fly-by-night operation. I stand here today writing you to let you know that this does not have to be the case. If you two are willing to take suggestions and follow a simple set of rules based on a healthy relationship built on proper interpersonal communication, then you have a chance to find yourself happy and in love for some time to come. Communication is the keystone to any strong relationship. In order to truly understand ourselves and our loved ones, we must first understand the way that we interact in our day to day intermingling.

Principles and misconceptions in effective interpersonal communications.

In the textbook Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication (Sole, 2011), we are shown that there are six basic principles at play regarding human communications. First, we are told that communication is symbolic. Second, we are shown that communication is a shared meaning. Third, communication is shown to be a process. Fourth, the argument is made that communication is culturally determined. Fifth, we are shown that communication occurs in context. Sixth, we are told that communication is purposeful. While these principles serve to explain the basic meanings behind how communications work, there will always be a basic misconception about how and what communication is mean to be.

It is important, though, to remember that a basic set of principles guides us through understanding interpersonal communications.

The use of symbols is widely believed to be what makes human language unique. A symbol can be anything that conveys a meaning, and it can be written, spoken, or non verbal. Drawings, photographs, and music can be symbolic. Even objects such as homes, automobiles, clothing, and jewelry can be symbolic (Sole, Sn.1.3, Para. 2). Human beings have a unique ability to make almost anything stand for something, giving an almost endless ability to communicate.

The fact that communication is a shared meaning is the driving force behind the ability to visualize stories and information through the shared language and symbols of our world. Our perception will directly affect how a story is communicated, so we must see these shared meanings as abstraction.

Communication is a lifelong process by which we gain knowledge and experience, with which we sharpen our communication skills. Because this is an ongoing thing, we must continually work to maintain and build on the relationships we form.

Communication is culturally determined, meaning that our cultures, or the way we eat, sleep, live and understand the world, affect the way we communicate. Many white Americans idealize a dispassionate and logical mode of debating and problem-solving. In mediation this is expressed in maxims such as "separate the people from the problem" and the use of caucuses to cool down emotions (Fisher and Ury, 1981). In Black and White Styles of Conflict (Kochman, 1981) it states that African Americans construe a difference in communication style differently, and that "Blacks call this constraining mode of behavior fronting, and they generally regard negatively situations in which it is necessary to front... All blacks consider fronting to be a strain".

Our ability to rationalize, our willingness to work things out, and our likely hood of finding common ground with someone we disagree with is greatly affected by our culture.

Communication must be understood as a context driven subject. Where, when and how we come to communicate is going to drive how we interact with others. Things such as our physical state, our mental well being, and the emotion surrounding a subject are sure to contribute to how we appreciate a communicated subject.

It is important to remember that communication is purposeful. We do not communicate simply to make noise, but instead to share meaning and connect with others. Our needs are influenced and met through interaction with the outside world.

These principles of communication guide us to understand the meaning and importance of human interpersonal communications and how we can communicate properly. There are misconceptions in interpersonal communication, though. The belief that we communicate only for our own good and that we will be unable to understand the meaning behind something without the proper context is wrong. We will find our way as we need be.

Identify the barriers to effective interpersonal interactions.

Competence, language, perception, and information are all barriers that can get in the way of effective interpersonal interactions. Any of these four barriers can cause an issue so great that effect communication is made impossible. All four parts must be met satisfactorily if clear and concise communication is to be had.

An article in the periodical Supervisory Management (1991) a situation is given that shows the proper way to get past barriers of effective interaction.

"In order to make certain that you cover all aspects of a subject, you must take the time beforehand to plan what you want to say. In the case of an unsatisfactory employee, for instance, it's not enough to know that his work has been slipping. Think about when you first noticed the problem, list examples of the problem on a piece of paper, and be prepared to explain what changes in the quality of performance you are requiring.

Mentally go over the employee's work history for the past few months to see if you can determine when the change occurred. Pinpoint episodes that caused problems in the employee's performance and prepare you to discuss them. Put yourself in the employee's position and

anticipate how he will react to what you are saying. Then try to prepare a proper response." (Para. 4). All four barriers are avoided using simple tools. Competence, or having the knowledge to understand the subject, is taken care of by planning what you will say.

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