Having a Child with a Disability

When Andy was born I was the happiest woman on Earth. When I saw his beautiful face and his tiny body I cried, I will never forget that moment. We stayed in the hospital for three days. That first night back from the hospital Andy didn't do anything but cry all night long. I did not know what to do, this was my first child, and I didn't know how to calm him down. I called the Doctor and he explained to me that this was the normal behavior for a first born child, and he just needed to adjust to the new environment. I would give Andy his milk, change his diaper, hold him, sing to him, but nothing would stop Andy's crying. We didn't much sleep. That week my husband had to work so I had to deal with Andy by myself, which was frustrating. Finally after about a week Andy gave up some. His dad couldn't even get close to him because he would start crying again, because Andy couldn't be held or fed by anyone but me. I had to spend every minute of the day with him to the point that I had to put a mattress in his room so I could get some sleep. I slept in his room for a whole year. There weren't a lot of changes in Andy's behavior during that year. The Doctor didn't know what was wrong with him, and I didn't know what I was going to do.

Taking care of Andy was a full time job for me. Ever since Andy was born my whole life style changed. My husband, Jack, started working long hours because he didn't want to stay at home and deal with Andy. I couldn't go out by myself or with my friends anymore. I had to take Andy with me everywhere I went. Basically, I didn't have a social life anymore. My relationship with my husband was also going down the drain

because we never spent any quality time together. My whole life was a big mess at that

Cabarcas 2

point, but whenever I saw Andy's face he made my heart smile.

Andy was a year old and he didn't talk much I got worried, but the Doctor told me to wait a few more months because boy's take a little bit longer than girls to start talking, so I did. In despite of all the frustration and despair I always showed Andy a lot of love. My husband also realized that he was being selfish by leaving all the responsibility to me. He took some responsibility upon himself to take care of Andy so he could get closer to him. Andy was very aggressive sometimes and whenever his dad tried to touch him, he would get away from his dad and start running around the house. After a while Andy let his dad get a little closer to him, Andy wouldn't scream or run away from his dad. He would just stay still and stared at his dad but there was some connection between them two. For two years we handled this situation the best we knew how and without knowing what was wrong with our child.

One day we took Andy to a Different Doctor and the Nurse notice that there was something wrong with our child. There was no eye contact, no reaction to the stimuli and testing she was doing to call his attention. He looked lost and his mind was someplace else. Anyway that time the Doctor did further studies in Andy's behavior to they diagnosed him with Autism. My husband and I felt a relief because we finally knew what was wrong with our child. In despite of the diagnosis we took Andy to a specialist and he told us the same, so we soon started a program for Andy.

I when to the library almost everyday to find out all the information I could find about Autism. I also got in the Internet and chatted with parents who also had child with disabilities, and parents of autistic children. I wanted to help my child as much as I could,

Cabarcas 3

so he could develop mentally almost as a child with no disabilities. It was a very hard task but Andy was my live and he still is. I decided that I was to be the best out of this unfortunate situation.

Autism is defined by the Autism Society of America, as a severely incapacitating lifelong developmental disability that typically appears during the first three years of life. It occurs in approximately fifteen out of every 10,000 births and is four times more common in boys than girls. It has been found throughout the world in families of all racial, ethnic and social backgrounds. No known factors in the psychological environment of a child have been shown to cause autism. The symptoms are cause by physical disorders of the brain. They include:

1. Disturbances in the rate of appearance of physical, social and language skills.

2. Abnormal

...